Today I had a realization (they seem to be coming fast and frequent these days). And because I’m all about being vulnerable and transparent even when it’s not the prettiest picture of me, I’d love to share with you…
I was drawing a sketch of our SPARK community and I was suddenly struck by the pedestal I had put myself on. Yes, I saw myself as the leader standing in the center of the circle shining my light as bright as I possibly could to illuminate your path. I saw myself as full-time inspiration, teacher, and guide. 100% giver. And this is just not true.
I realized just how disempowering this scenario is for YOU. And in that moment I opened to a whole new level of truth.
So today, I offer my apologies to you for this old paradigm that has existed somewhere inside of me … And, with excitement, let’s usher in a new way of being together in this community.
“My Apology to You“
You are not broken.
I am sorry for the time I acted like you were.
You are love, loving, loved, lovable.
You are whole.
There is nothing missing.
I was wrong to suggest
I had something that could make you complete.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Nothing.
And I am not here to fix.
There is no ‘I’m better, you’re worse.’
There is no ‘further ahead or farther behind.’
I’m sorry I thought I needed to shine for you.
I’m sorry I didn’t see your own light.
You and I are equals.
We take turns leading and following.
We are helping each other.
I’m sorry I tried to do all the giving
All the teaching, all the inspiring.
I was mistaken when I placed myself
In the middle of the circle.
I am now standing beside you
Holding your hand
Grateful
That you are holding mine.
Our circle lights up
Because of who we each are.
Not because I illuminate your darkness.
Our circle shines
As we connect in spirit
And love through hearts
Not because my mind
Takes control
And leads both me and you.
Yes, we each have unique gifts to share.
Yes, we each have an important piece of the truth.
Yes, we each have value to offer the other
Yes, we each are needed to lead our piece
Our peace.
Yet, there are times that I am clear and you are cloudy.
Yet, there are times when I forget and you remember.
We stand together for those times
No one is in this alone.
We know when it is our time to guide
And our time to be guided.
I am so grateful
To step off my false pedestal.
To no longer look down or up
At you or another.
To take my blinders off
And let your light in
Seeing your essence
The truth of you
Shining and whole.
Together
In this circle
We can light up our world.